Welcome to Pirate Val's Very Secret Spot

So you found me, eh?

Lets get one thing right out in the open right now. Yes, I am a real pirate. I was raised on a ship called The Latoya Jackson, but when I was 16 I decided to leave my family to pursue a life of fame and fortune. How I get there? Doesn't matter. All that matters is that my name will be in big fat letters on the cover of Seventeen.

Not that I am seventeen, of course. I am afraid that I have grown quite old (one year away from being two decades old). Shortly after leaving the ship, I decided that it would be in my best interest to get an education. So that's what I did. I started in the port of Boston, went to a few colleges there. Hit some up in Texas by ways of the Gulf, and made one last North American stop by pretending to be a student at UCLA for about 7 months.

Right now I am in Italy. I convinced an ex-circus family here with a local restaurant that I was their estranged granddaughter/cousin/niece, and just as I suspected they believed me because Italians procreate so much that it is impossible to keep tabs on everyone.

So, here I am. An educated pirate currently active as a struggling musician in a small beach town in Tuscany...on the road to Celebrity Town. And with all of you scallywags to hear of my tales along the way. Because I figure, why not get Internet-famous too, while I'm at it.